22 May 2005

dreams, emails, and schemes

just before my mom woke me up for dinner I was having an exquisitely pleasant dream in which jarom came home, it was the very day he came home, and for reasons that only make sense in dreams his family was giving me a ride to my aunt's in sacramento. (talking to jennifer about our aunt in salt lake, and recently to someone else about a different aunt in sacramento, may have gotten them muddled in my mind, because this aunt in the dream was really the one from salt lake.) so they came by to get me, and jarom was driving (go figure) and I put my bags in the backseat (long trip?) before getting in the passenger seat. without saying a word jarom just pulled me into this awesome mikahug, after a minute he let go and we said hi or something, then pulled me back into another hug. throughout the rest of the dream we didn't talk much (we spent time in sacramento or wherever), but I was ecstatic anyway. his dad suggested that jarom and I drive back to utah together at the end of the summer, even though we'd be in separate cars. I remember that the two of us were doing our own thing at my aunt's house but whenever I'd pass him or glance over at him he gave me a breathtakingly adorable smile. siiiiiigh. and here's a new thing for my dreams, I had my cell phone with me and was calling aubrey and jacopo and jennifer telling them about how jarom had just come home and I was so happy.

when I came back into my room after dinner, there was an email from brother hillery telling everyone when jarom's homecoming is -- and when jarom is coming home. (interesting phrasing and word choice on my part, eh?) well...he'll come in to the san francisco airport on tuesday the 14th! I wasn't expecting him to be back until the 15th or 16th or even 17th...this is so excessively delightful...it means only 23 days till he's here! 23 days! how on earth will I ever survive the time between his coming home and his homecoming? I'll be a smiling idiot, with butterflies in my stomach and caterpillars crawling out my ears and shooting stars in my eyes. (can I just say, I love this thing aubrey came up with? she asked me, "are you all antsy and your stomach is full of butterflies and caterpillars and shooting stars? I hope so, because it's kind of a fun feeling." poetry.) ahhh.

I enjoyed talking to jennifer earlier. things are going so well for her; I'm so glad she's found herself a nice boy. a fun one, too. I was thinking again about timeframes with jarom...which tends to get me into trouble. that's where I daydream the most, I suppose, and do the majority of my impossible scenarios. or is it? maybe these are more probable things, whereas a passionate kiss anytime in the first month that jarom is home is not going to happen. (ok, I may have to eat my words on that, which is fine by me, but I doubt it. I wouldn't bet money on it, even if I were a gambling gal.)

ok I really ought to stop going on and on and on about this. towards the end of december last year I forbade myself from writing or talking about jarom until 2005, it was about a week and a half if I remember correctly. so I'm going to try it again, just until next sunday. no more lovey-dovey ramblings, no conversations about how soon he'll be home, etc. (and then it'll be barely two weeks until he's back and you know I'll be delirious and dying to say something about it. gaaa.) ready...go!

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