15 May 2005

life is even more beautiful than before

oh man, what a beautiful day. church was lovely, we had just 2 sisters for our speakers in sacrament meeting. they gave post-mother's day talks about women in the church, and in the ward family. very good. my attention span ended somewhere during sunday school, but I had a rather nice time trying to imagine jarom's homecoming. it came out something like this: since my ward gets out at noon, I'll go home and have a bite to eat, if the "butterflies and caterpillars and shooting stars" in my stomach (as montgomery says) will handle it. then I'll be at the stake center about 12:40, with -- and this is crucial -- a notebook for writing in. otherwise I'd go absolutely out of my mind with unwritten and unexpressed thoughts and feelings. so I'll be sitting on the left side of the chapel, in about the 5th pew from the back. the speakers won't be in yet and I can write for a while, as the chapel begins filling up. quentin and kimberlee and elizabeth felix will all come, along with various other friends and family of jarom's. I don't know which aisle jarom will walk up when he's going to the stand, but he'll probably be accosted by numerous well-wishers who are all glad to see him, though I expect none of them are quite as glad to see him as I'll be. but anyway. in this particular version of events he goes and takes his seat on the stand with such timing that he sees me shortly after sitting down but he can't get up to come talk before the meeting starts. so I just smile my gorgeous smile, and he smiles back and the butterflies and caterpillars and shooting stars start dancing around. I just don't know what happens after the meeting's over, which is when things really get interesting. but I'm afraid my imagination can't handle all the possibilities, most of which are extraordinarily splendid.

well, that took care of sacrament meeting today; relief society was about prayer, and was a rather well-taught lesson. after church I had a nice little piece of poundcake with strawberries and cream, and it was delicious. I thought I'd have a nap -- somehow it turned into a three-hour nap, more than I intended. I was awakened by the phone ringing; I'm actually quite glad it woke me up, because I was having a very unpleasant dream. I don't remember much of it, luckily, just shapes and ideas. anyhow, the phone call was from jennifer, who's having the most gorgeous weekend ever...a guy she has engl 293 with, but with whom she hadn't really talked much before, turns out to be (in her words) "perfect," they've spent 12 hours together over the last 3 days, and are definitely dating. it certainly looks like if things work out she'll be engaged this summer, or by the end of the year at least. gaaa! she described him as "a kindred spirit," and, having just read anne of green gables and anne of avonlea again, I can't help but accept him wholeheartedly as being amazing. sigh.

oh, I also talked to kimberlee for a while before my nap; she hurt her ankle rather badly last week, and she's been laid up since then. and walking around on crutches. but otherwise life is not too shabby, and I'm looking forward to seeing her soon.

I think I told you that I made a countdown chain. I colored every week a different color; at the time there were 8 weeks, so I did four of alternating black and blue, and four of alternating yellow and pink. (those were the colors I had, ok?) as of today we've entered the last black-and-blue week. the nervousness and excitement are mounting steadily. like I said, after reading the anne books I'm ready to believe in love more than anything, especially in this situation. I know it may take a while for things to work, if they're going to. but it'll be a dazzling experience.

the window is open, the wind is blowing, and it's a perfectly overcast day -- not dismal, just...cozy. if I had someone to go with I'd put on a coat and go for a walk. I'm just in one of those moods. I've been like this since, when was it, thursday or friday? everything is just so good. life is completely divine right now, and I love this feeling. ahhhh.

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